"They say the definition of madness is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. That's right."
- Howlin' Pelle Almqvist, Try it Again - The Hives
The seed was planted some time ago, when nature and it’s children were flourishing in the sunshine, the streets shared no motion, and humanity was forcibly locked away in their own elaborate dog cages for several months. A few months prior I’d had gone for an interview for an ‘animator’ position at a private tech company, sure it was a great salary, but more importantly it was the first time after so long that I had finally got some good luck. I had tried to get my foot in the door many times prior, but either nothing came from it or I’d be pre-occupied trying to keep life’s other struggles at bay. But that doesn’t matter now, because this was it. I was finally going to be an animator!
I was offered the job just three hours after my interview, and I turned it down.
I’d realised half way through the interview that this wasn’t what I wanted, all I was doing was chasing the job-title: Animator. It didn’t matter to me what the job entailed or what industry it was working within, the only thing that I’d wanted so much was to have that damn job-title: Animator. Once it was offered to me, I didn’t want it. Through the process of the interview, the questions being asked, the answers I was giving, the enthusiasm I was sharing in my own work, it was becoming apparent to me that I sort of know how to actually do this. If there was a way I could just pull my finger out and manage to organise all those ridiculous ideas up in my head, I could probably make it out the other side on my own terms. I could have autonomy over the work I chose to do, be it for a client or myself. Rather be doing that and struggle financially than be restricted to a job-title. Animator? Nah, I do animation. So that was that, with that stubborn arrogance of mine I was going to have a go at it, for real this time. 2020 would be my year!
lol, no.
Don’t think I need to elaborate here, everyone knows that year was rough. Everyone felt it. A terrifying cirumstance and a much needed humbling of one’s ego. Still, amongst the uncertainty of it all was a sliver of opportunity, how ever small and fragile it was, to create. During this period I was eager for a refresher to my portfolio website, at the time I was using a more consumer friendly approach to web building/hosting called Wix. I was starting to feel restricted using their own site building tools and was yearning for more control. Reaching out to a friend of mine who’d been building a personal site themselves provided me with the starting point that I needed. With some initial guidance, I was able to develop a bare bones portfolio site using basic HTML and CSS. Excellent! Now all that I want to add is some form of journal, that shouldn’t be too difficult to do right? I can have that set up within the week!
Can you see a pattern yet?
5 years later, and after dealing with family health scares, personal health scares, moving house, getting back to grips with the basics of web-site building, starting from the ground up with the Astro Blog API as a foundation, spending too many hours trying to fix every CSS design to be properly responsive (to an extent), rummaging through boxes of scrapbooks and scrap paper, scanning all sorts of sketches and finding lost projects, all while curating everything that I had on my site prior, and then some, I had finally manifested what I’d wanted from the very sodding beginning - a blog.
So what should you expect from this blog in the future? Well having somewhere that now allows me to get really in depth with the thought processes that leads to a piece of artwork being formed, or all the finicky aspects within the latest obsessive hobbyist project of mine, is nice to finally have. This also has the potential to expand out in another form to other platforms like YouTube and such, as the posts themselves could be repurposed as a transcript for possible video essays and “vlogging”. I have a few rough write ups from a couple years back regarding various design thoughts and animation styles that I started splurging out over on Microsoft Word, I think that could make for some good reading? I also have a couple of the more nerdier projects that I’ve been tinkerin’ with over the last few years that might be relevant to this site? I suppose the general goal with this blog is to build a documentation of it all, the highs and lows, the various thoughts and passions that I have, all while keeping within the realm of animation, design, and any creative work that I’m involved in elsewhere or by myself.
I will aim for one post a month but don’t hold me up to that. I’ll also resist throwing up a random ‘top 10 ways to peel a yoghurt top off’ post just to keep up with the monthly quota.
Big thanks to my long time pal Matt, you know, the friend who I reached out to. Check his site out: insidae.com
OK I’ve rambled enough, enjoy the new site!